Most of us choose to homeschool and immediately start researching and finding a different resource for every subject. We have all these materials ready and feel prepared and good about ourselves and our decisions. We sit our children down and give them our pile of curriculum and begin. Sometimes the resistance comes right away, sometimes a month down the road as the novelty wears off, but eventually you have a resistant child and your dreams of what you imagine as the perfect homeschooling scenario seem to go up in flames. We usually believe that we must not be cut out for this, or that this child is too stubborn to homeschool. This occurs in almost every family that has pulled their children out of public or private school, or that has tried to homeschool traditional school style. Many of us refer to this period as Detoxing.
Unfortunately, the textbook, spiral-style of instruction used in traditional schooling combined with the carrot and stick form of motivating tend to create children who equate learning with work and judgement. I remember the day my daughter’s friend came by as my children were watching The Magic Schoolbus, one of their favorite shows. The girl immediately exclaimed, “Turn it off! They are trying to make you learn!” Yikes. That comment helped give me the motivation to take the leap to homeschooling. I wanted my children to love learning and have the desire to continue learning throughout their life. If you want the same for your children, I have found that this Detoxing period is essential.
I recommend using the next few months to work on your family and religious values. Psychologists stress the importance of building “moral values; Leadership Education and several other sources refer to this as your core values, or “Core.” Plan some family projects (spring cleaning, planting a garden, fixing up a room, ect.) to work on the values of hard work and working together. Your child will be home more, so let them help with meals, clean up after, and help with chores. This will build on the values listed previously, and also accountability and being part of a family. Spend some time reading aloud to your children and building your relationships with them. Concentrate on encouraging honesty, kindness, and forgiveness. Reading and discussing books is a great way to bring up different values, just make sure that you are asking vague, open ended questions so your children can pull out the lessons, instead of feeling lectured.
Give your children plenty of free time, preferably not on electronics the whole time. This may be difficult for some children that are used to having every minute scheduled. I have a list on the fridge of everything we could think of to do in freetime so my kids could look at it when they needed an idea. Outdoor time is especially healing and boosts their mood. Creativity and resourcefulness are developed when they are just given some unscheduled time.
Have fun! Play games together, all types. Down the road this is a great transition into math and spelling games, but at the beginning keep away from ones that your kids may associate with learning. A few of my daughters have different food sensitivities. I asked the doctor if there was a way to get rid of them. I was told that when your body reacts badly to something you eat (for example, it dislikes homogenization), you can develop a sensitivity and will react to any milk, even if it is not homogenized. It takes several months of careful care to avoid anything that resembles milk to clear out the cells that target any type of milk. You can then introduce a non-homogenized milk and many bodies will accept it. Introducing it too early and it can put you back at square one. I feel like this detox is like that. Be careful not to introduce anything that brings back the feelings they associated with learning in a traditional setting too soon. I have watched friends jump in too fast only to struggle and have to pull back for a longer period of time than they would have if they had waited in the beginning.
Visit the library. Have some interesting books sitting out that they can look at while you read or when they have free time during the day. When they start showing interest and curiosity and are able to get their chores done and participate, they are probably ready to start doing some “school.” Just make sure that it starts out slowly and with having as much fun as possible! When your child has a strong core and develops a love of learning, there really is no limit on what they can learn and accomplish!
Head to my article, “ I Chose to Homeschool. Now what?” for where to go when they’re ready.
Comments